Thursday, May 24, 2007

Top 10 things that rule about Tech

In David Letterman fashion, and with respect to Passive Aggressor’s awesome blog, I’d like to present the top 10 things that make Texas Tech pretty much rule.

You may not agree with me on everything, and there might be a glowing omition, to which I tell you “piss off.” This is my fucking list.

10. KTXT Radio

Keep it locked to the left!

I’ve witnessed some pretty shitty college radio in my travels, and Tech’s student-ran station is amongst, if not the best, I’ve heard.

9. THE Ryan Hyatt

There’s not much that I enjoy more than listening to Hyatt call a Lady Raider game. I’m not even all that much of a women’s basketball fan – but I think Ryno is just about as good as it gets.

I think he’s smooth, topical and has a perfect flow to calling basketball. I like Jensen calling football, don’t get me wrong, but Steve Dale (and John Harris last year) make me wish for a worldwide kitten holocaust.

I almost wish we did like Texas A&M, and had Hyatt call every single sport from football to women's j.v. tennis like Dave South, except of course without the senility and general suckiness.

8. Our snazzy marching band

I’d put the Goin’ Band up against any other band in the country for quality of performance and flashiness. They make gay-looking gaucho hats and capes cool to me.

I still get chills when the drum majors high-step down the field and the band runs out during pregame. Our band kicks major ass.

7. Gameday at the Jones

From the drunken tailgating, to the pregame festivites, to throwing the ball all over the field 60 times a game with reckless abandon, I love it.

6. Wes Welker

My favorite Red Raider evar. A little short, stout, relitavely slow dude from Oklahoma who wasn’t highly recruited, but has BALLS. I loves me some Wes.

5. Not going to class

I went to three institutions of higher ed in my college career, and one of the coolest things about Tech was the fact that with roughly half of my classes, I only went for tests.

Playing Playstation until 4 in the afternoon and being drunk by 2 pm on a Wednesday = pretty much the most awesome life ever.

I’d like to personally thank all of those professors who had no attendence policy and put their lecture notes online. Having to go to class is lame.

4. The campus is purty.

Let’s face it: Lubbock’s scenery leaves a lot to be desired. If our campus didn’t have the beautiful architecture it does have, it would pretty much be as ugly as A&M, but flat with few trees..

"Welcome to beautiful Aggieland! Our girls are almost as unattractive as our campus!"

3. Girls

Good gosh, I’m a dumbass for having a steady girlfriend for the vast majority of the two years I was at TTU.

Take a walk on campus. So many beautiful co-eds everywhere you look.

Instead of being mired in a relationship that ultimately didn't last, I could have been out getting herpes from a hawt Theta or some shit. And it would have been worth it.

"Wait! I thought it was fuck a Beta, marry a Theta?!"

2. Pwning Aggy

From this..

"Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!"

To this...


So beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye.

It wouldn’t be so great if we didn’t know it bothered them so much.

1. The Odd Couple

"I wonder what kind of fertilizer they use on this grass?"

It’s kind of crazy if you think about it. There is probably not a more quotable combination of a head football and basketball coach in the country.

You’ve got RMK, and his reputation preceeds himself. We all know the things he has said.

Then you’ve got Batshit crazy Mike Leach, who says things like this:

"If you get into a fight, don't take your helmet off. We're looking for smart
football players, not dumb ones. In the interest of time, don't get into any
more fights today."

"Well, Wes had the Huge Punt Return and I thought that once we got him
off we're going to have everyone hug him"

"Well, uh, I don't know. They told me the game was at 9:00 pm so I showed
up at 9:00 pm. It was over at 1:00 am, so I left."

"I don't even
remember what I said. I hope whatever I said was cute and clever, and maybe even
a tiny bit humorous. I hope it wasn't mindless babble, and if it was, hopefully
everyone will forget about it pretty quick."

"I told him to fix his
helmet, which I thought was a pretty good coaching point at the time."

And that’s just a few of his great ones. There are fewer moments in my life that I get more gratification then when I read or hear another zinger quote from either Knight or Leach. No other fans of any school are privy to more constant entertainment by the two figureheads of their athletic department.

And the really funny thing is they are in such stark contrast to each other; Knight – cantankerous and belligerent, Leach – random and eccentric. Both incredibly sarcastic and hilarious in their own way.

We are truly blessed as far as those classic media moments are concerned.


Anonymous said...

I have to agree about the girls! WOW!!!

Jay Davis said...

Great Top 10 List. I am a RED RAIDER UNTIL THE DAY I DIE !!!!

And we do have us some pretty girls on campus, no doubt. Why do you think I keep coming back for the football games? For the scenery, no doubt. :)

Anonymous said...

This post gets a motherfucking 10!

Bob Knight's Eyebrows said...

Hyatt's the shit.

lank thompson said...

no stangel beach? :p