Thursday, May 31, 2007

Sesame Street Teaches Aggies How to Count

Dug up this video from the 2006 game between the Aggies and the Sooners. It was a pivotal moment in which the game in which the only thing the Aggies had to do was stop the Sooners on 4th down in order to get a chance at the win.

I guess they may be experts in Animal Husbandry, but no one ever taught them how to count!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I can't believe I'm about to say this....

Way to go NCAA - that was a good call!

After you've received medical attention, please read the story...

Here's my girlfriend after I told her the news:

(Thanks to Insomniac's Lounge for the pic)

Certainly this didn't come from Myles Brand's desk - could it really be?

Hoooooorayyyy Dukies - I'm so happy to hear that this went your way...
And sorry about your Loss to the John's Hopkins team, who seem to have your number :(

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Because I need a laugh.....

"Pounding The Rock" is powered by genius

to wit...

During the fourth quarter Mark Jackson was going on and on (and on) about how horrible Duncan was playing, even going so far as to say it was "the worst game I've ever seen him play." Umm, Mark, did you suffer some blunt head trauma in the past 48 hours? Duncan was considerably worse in game 3. And yes Mark and Jeff, we know you guys used to be player and coach. That whole bit you have going isn't funny. Please shut up. Please.


Monday, May 28, 2007

What I think of on Memorial Day...

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mike Leach - A Compendium

In no particular order, these are links to articles and videos that are central to the quirkiness that is Coach Leach.

I hope that this blog will be able to keep y'all up to date on many more of these - and for many more years...

1. Mike Leach does the weather

2. Michael Lewis publishes a NYTimes Magazine story on Coach Leach...

Mike Leach Goes Deep, Very Deep NYTimes Mag 12/4/2005 by Michael Lewis

The fellas that wrote Freakonomics also had some comments about Mr. Lewis' article here:

Freakonomics Blog by Steven Levitt 12/4/05

NOTE about the above link - I think Levitt and most of the folks commenting on the story miss the point of the article. Much like Moneyball, Lewis is writing about teams that do more with less. The point is really that Tech doesn't compete well on the recruiting trail but still hangs with these big programs (although that was somewhat true in the Spike Dykes years as well).

And lastly, EDSBS did an interview with Michael Lewis one year later where he further responds to the article...EDSBS December 6, 2006 Interview (Part 2) w/ Michael Lewis (Q&A on Leach starts about 2 Qs down from the pic of Ed Orgeron).

Another NOTE here: If I'm not mistaken, the "Mike Leach's Pirate School Tees were created by poster "Mr. Football")

3. This was my first "No he DI - INT!" moment with coach Leach - and you can't really be in on it unless you've read all of the material in the links provided in #2.

4. Mike Leach calls Trump - real craziness ensues...Whirlwind Week for Mike Leach Lubbock A-J December 11, 2005 by Don Williams

Not too much to report here............pretty self explanatory.

5. Mike Leach gets emotional at the Insight Bowl...

This may be one not many of you have seen - and while I curse the NFL network for picking up this game so that I couldn't see it, I thank them for keeping the link available and the entire game on their server.

Here's the link to the QuickTime files: Insight Bowl 2006

What you want to do is click on the link to "Overtime" - then as it allows you to, advance to exactly 10:00 (minutes). The announcer will throw it to Alex Flanagan (yummy) on the field with Coach Leach....aww Coach, you had me at "Arrrrrrrrr."

6. The guys at The Forums have compiled a list of Mike Leach quotes over the years...and guess what - I don't have it!

But in the Classics Forum there is this: I sat next to Mike Leach on the airplane - quality stuff!

EDIT (Thanks to Bob Knight's Eyebrows):

7. Mike Leach calls in to the Williams and Hyatt show Feb 15, know, Spaghetti Westerns, we don't need halftime, rat turds vs. elephant know, regualr stuff...

So here's the thing - if anyone has that list of quotes - e-mail us at the blog: discotechblog AT gmail DOT com - and I'll get them up ASAP and give you all the credit in the world and.............absolutely no compensation! It'll be grrrrrrrrreat!

And if I missed anything - feel free to let us know!

Happy Memorial Day weekend everybody!

Go Raiders!!!

Well we only been doing this a week but one of readers from sent us a link to this story.

Appearantly Robert Comer was a Raider Fan even to the end-

Comer brought a picture of his daughter with him to the death chamber and used
his last words to say, "Go, Raiders."

Our inside sources have say that one guard was heard saying: "No wait! No Wait! Did you mean the RED Raiders or the OAKLAND Raiders??!?!?! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"- as Comer became unconscious.

Other sources say that Comer attended the 2005 Tech-OU game and is heard in this video:

Is Comer the Drunken Raider Fan chanting "Go Raiders"- Like the old Tootsie Roll Pop commercials says "The World May Never Know".

Saturday, May 26, 2007

UT t-shirt fan is laziest human ever?

Full article here: Thursday May 24

Simon Lezama, 27-year-old tourist from Odessa, Texas, drives his electric mobility scooter at the Riviera hotel-casino in Las Vegas, Friday, May 18, 2007. "It was all the walking," Lezama said on his red Merits Pioneer 3. Lezama, a trim and fit-looking restaurant manager from Odessa, Texas, rented it on day three of his five-day vacation, "and now I can drink and drive, be responsible and save my feet." (Jae C. Hong/AP Photo)


Your Quiznos District Manager will be so proud...

Thanks to techaroo for the tip.

A true Cinderella Story

With Angelo State University becoming a part of the Texas Tech University System in a few months, it’s time we really start to pay some attention to what is going on down there in San Angelo.

One incredible story is that of the Rams baseball team – in its third year of existence and headed to the D2 College World Series.

3rd season’s the charm
Rams reach national tourney in remarkable time
Nathan Wright
Saturday, May 26, 2007

MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Angelo State University baseball coach Kevin Brooks expected the Rams to be playing in the NCAA Division II College World Series two years ago, in the program’s first year.

It took two years longer than he planned, but the fact that the Rams are at this year’s World Series in just their third year of existence is still quite a feat.

The Rams open bracket play at the 2007 World Series today at 1 p.m. against Franklin Pierce at Riverwalk Stadium.

It caps off three tough years of getting the program started, making it successful, then earning regional and national recognition.

It all started with that first recruiting class for the first year of the program in 2005.

“The first year was hard because I didn’t get hired until Dec. 22, and then school didn’t start until Jan. 10,” Brooks said. “We already missed the fall, and that is when I go out and evaluate everybody. We were sort of behind the 8-ball, and at that time we didn’t have any assistant coaches either.”

Brooks found out the hard way that getting high school players at that time of year was impossible, as they had all either committed elsewhere or were playing somewhere.

He went the junior college route and found a gold mine at Temple Junior College, where he convinced several players to join the young program at ASU. By word of mouth, some of those who had committed to join Brooks told other players, who decided to come to San Angelo as well.

One of those Temple transfers was Nate Hemm, a three-time first-team all-conference selection for the Rams and one of only a few left on this year’s team who were a part of the program’s first team.

“I was in my freshman year at Temple, and I had planned on staying there,” Hemm said.

“There were a few players there that had signed with ASU. I really liked playing with them. I talked to coach Brooks, and it kind of worked out. He gave me the opportunity.”

Brooks had a tough task convincing players to come because it was a new program — no history and no returning starters.

Hemm can’t even recall exactly how Brooks pitched the program to the recruits. Hemm knew some high-quality players were coming to ASU, so he decided to join them.

“He just said there was going to be good baseball,” Hemm said.

With Brooks’ background in baseball — he was an assistant at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene — some players didn’t hesitate when he called.

One of those players was Drew Caraway. Being from Merkel and originally signing with Incarnate Word, Caraway had known Brooks and worked with him for several years prior to the start of the program at ASU.

“I played for coach Brooks in the summer in San Angelo,” Caraway said. “He told me before I left to go to Incarnate Word that he was going to get the program started at Angelo. I told him I was all about that and I would be there in a heartbeat.”

From Day 1, Brooks knew his team was going to be a winner, and he did nothing to hide the fact that he thought so.

Eventually, he had his players thinking the same way. Brooks expected his team to be in Montgomery two years ago, when the team went 30-25. There was no conference tournament that season.

“That first year was awkward because there was nobody returning,” Caraway said. “Nobody was set in stone for positions. There was a lot of competition. It was a fun year. We had a great time, but I don’t think we were as focused as we were this year or last year.”

Last year, the Rams made a huge stride, winning the Lone Star Conference South Division title but not the conference tournament. They were not selected to the South Central Regional Tournament despite thinking they’d be a lock with their 41-16 record.

They weren’t, and that lit a fire somewhere in the returning players, who set out this year to right what they considered a wrong in not being selected to the regional tournament and not getting an opportunity to compete for a berth in the College World Series.

“I think that first group was real important to this group,” Brooks said. “They did sort of set the standard because they improved so much. I still feel bad because I think that if they had gotten the opportunity, they would have been here last year. We will see if we can’t go get it for them.”

The confidence of their coach played a big part as well. All season long, the team believed that it could get here, to the pinnacle of Division II baseball. Caraway said the team believes it can beat any team in the country nine out of 10 times.

That kind of confidence — and the fact that the team has done just what it set out to do — is the reason the team got to where it is in only three seasons.

Good luck to the Rams!

He's our coach, and you can't have him!

Coach Leach is one of a kind. Period. That is said about people all the time, but in this case, it's actually true. And just to prove's a story that was originally posted on a couple of years ago...

So the wife and I are cruising around Pearl Harbor taking in the sights and sounds of such a solemn place. For those of you who have been there, you know that there's more to it than just the Arizona. There's a museum, and other assorted sights. Well, one thing was an old submarine named the Bowfin. For more info on the Bowfin, go to this relatively annoying website.

In any case, the whole thing was cool, getting to walk through a submarine used in WWII. We're above decks, and I happen to catch a flash of red flying off a kid's head. I look over, and sure enough, his hat had just blown into the harbor. Bummer, I think.

Well, his father just stares down into the water, and scratches the back of his head as the family stands wordlessly around him. Nice looking family, I think - Dad, Mom, two daughters and a son (if I remember correctly).

Well, a light bulb goes off over Dad's head. He looks to the wife, and says, "I think I can reach it."

Heh. There's no way in hell he's going to reach it.

"No, seriously, If...Okay. I think if I hang off...the...uh, railing...I can reach it. Just hold on to my foot"

At this point, he looks as though he's going to actually climb over. Chuckling to myself, I elbow the wife. "Look at this. This dude who looks like Mike Leach is fixing to be swimming. Should be entertaining."

Wife looks over, looks at me with a cocked eyebrow. "Uh, John, that IS Mike Leach," she says.

No way, I think. I look over. Light bulb goes off over MY head. Sure enough, that is Mike Leach. Now this is going to be immensely more entertaining than I originally thought.

"Honey...I don't think you're going to reach it," pretty wife says.

"Dad, don't worry about it," well-behaved son says.

Dad scratches the back of his neck, and stares down at the forlorn hat, bobbing in Pearl Harbor. Again, a light bulb goes off.

"No," he says, turning with a purpose. "They have something," and walks down the deck, right past me and my googly-eyed, easily star-struck wife, right past the Filipino blue-checkered shirt wearing museum attendant and right into a yellow-taped off area with what appeared to be a big pile of service [censored]. He proceeds to move some buckets, and other assorted janitorial gear, and comes upon his goal. He starts pulling out this long ass pole.

This pole is about twenty feet long, I swear to God, with a pool net on the end. He turns really quickly with this monstrosity and nearly bowls over a Japanese tourist who is gawking at him. His wife says something along the lines of "Oh, boy...Go, coach go," in a tone I can only translate as moderate, unsurprised bewilderment. She turns to the daughter, "Your Dad...he just doesn't care, does he?"

Meanwhile, back at the Filipino blue-checkered shirt wearing museum attendant a look of abject horror has conquered her face. She watches as he walks back past her, holding this ridiculous pole over his head. Suddenly, it dawns on her that it is her job to stop this man.

"Sir, can't do that. What are you doing? Stop, sir, please."

Mike Leach does not hear her. He reaches the point where the hat overboard has occurred and dips that pole into the harbor, fishes out the hat. He stands there triumphantly for a moment, holding this pole over his head as tourists stare at him in wonderment, his daughter is beside herself with laughter, and the Filipino blue checkered shirt wearing museum attendant stares at him angrily.

"Sir, you MUST put that down," Filipino blue checkered shirt wearing museum attendant snaps.

He looks over at her as though he had not yet noticed her. "Oh...uh...Yeah, I know."

Watching him extricate the hat from the net was as amusing as watching him deal with the angry Filipino blue checkered shirt wearing museum attendant.

He gets the hat, shakes it out, and puts it right on his son's head. Sheepishly, his son reaches up and wipes a few drips from his forehead. "Thanks, Dad."


In any case, I met him in the museum - real nice guy. I waited for him to gain some separation from his family, because I don't want to be annoying guy who interrupts family time. In any case, I turn around in the museum and he's right there, looking at some medals. Family is nowhere in sight, so I say "Coach, you mind if I get a picture?"

He looks up at me, smiles, says, "Absolutely. You from Texas?" Austin, I say, I'm a Longhorn. "They got a lot of you down there. Somebody fills up all those seats in that stadium every time we're down there."

We exchange a few more pleasantries, and I'm ready to let him get back to his family. Don't want to be annoying or anything. "Real nice meeting you, Coach," I say.

"Yeah, we got you up in Lubbock this year, though. Should be a good game," he says. Well, we don't seem to play well in Lubbock, I reply. "It's always a good game when we play Texas," he says. Yeah, kind of a rivalry, I say. "Well, A&M seems to be more of our rival right now," he says. They don't seem to like you all very much right now I say. He chuckles. I tell him there's nothing we enjoy more than watching his Red Raiders beat the Aggies. He looks at me. I told him good luck, except against us, and he looked at me again and said "We'll need it." I think he wanted to laugh or talk more about college football. He really seemed flattered that he was recognized so far from home.

Real nice guy, smelled no alcohol on his breath, etc, etc. Just seemed exactly like the Mike Leach you see on TV following a football game. Just kind of in his own little world.

Anyway, that's it.

That's our Coach!

Dave Brown - We miss you

I know this news story is a bit old, but there are many stories that pre-date our new blog.

I want to be sure that this blog recognizes some of the great stories that come out of Texas Tech, even though we might be seen as "late to the story." So, we'll cover some old stories for a bit this summer while we get these things off our minds and onto this blog...

The MZone was nice to have mentioned out new blog - so I wanted to remind their readers about a significant man that connects our two programs...of course that would be Dave Brown.

Full Story at the Texas Tech Athletics Site:

Dave Brown Selected for Hall of Fame

May 9, 2007

LUBBOCK, Texas -
Although he didn't suit up for the Red and Black, former assistant football coach Dave Brown was a great representative of Texas Tech and college football during his five seasons with the Red Raiders. Brown, who passed away suddenly last year, will be enshrined in the College Football Hall of Fame in New York City in December.

A five-year veteran on the Red Raider coaching staff, Brown coached the cornerbacks since his arrival in 2001. He initially retired from coaching in 1998 after a seven-year run as cornerbacks coach for the Seattle Seahawks, but returned to the sideline three seasons later for his only collegiate position. Brown was active in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and held weekly bible studies for Texas Tech student-athletes. His faith in God and his leadership made him one of the most admired individuals on the Texas Tech campus.

The Texas Tech Football team dedicated the 2006 Season to Dave Brown and his family, and he was recognized in the final pages of the press guide with a detail list of his accomplishments and impact on the Texas Tech Program.

I recall that after the Insight Bowl Antonio Huffman was determined to lead the team to a comeback victory - because they knew Dave Brown would have coached them in that way - and that he inspired them to fight back...I couldn't find the quote, but if someone can, I'll certainly post it here...

Congrats to the Brown family that Dave will be honored in this way.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Lubbock hates alcohol, sex

Story last updated at 1:35 a.m. Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Shop owner could face charges after sex devices confiscated

The owner of a lingerie shop where undercover officers arrested a store employee earlier this month could also face charges in connection with sexual devices that police recently confiscated from the store, Lubbock's police chief said Tuesday.

Registrasion may be required ( does have entry data) Link

"We're not doing a store-by-store check," Jones said. "This was a complaint-driven investigation."

Jones cited chapter 43 of the Texas Penal Code, which prohibits the possession of six or more obscene devices - described as "a dildo or artificial vagina, designed and marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs."

Six, folks - the magic number is six....hmmmm...that means the next place the cops should be hitting will be the second floor of Chitwood Hall...

For those living in the Lubbock area, they know this is a part of a general crack-down on the sex business in Lubbock.

Lubbockites already have to drive to the county line to buy booze - now they can't buy 7 dildos when they need 'em? When I need 7 dildos man, no law is gonna stop me...that's the most important thing I have to do at that very moment in time!!! I can't tell you how many times the waitstaff (all the females of course) at Gardski's were headed to my place for a ride on my coin-op bed!

Soon I'm sure we'll read the story about how Lubbock has decided to start cracking down on me and the 98 rows of organic hydroponic in my basement...good grief.

Did we admit this kid under special circumstances?

Kip and Kim - Jay Leno - "The Tonight Show" - 5/23/07 Air Date

Kip happens to wearing a Texas Tech shirt this time around...gee thanks. In a three minute segment Kip single-handedly reduces the value of my diploma by 15%...

This is a shortened version available on YouTube...looks like the girl asking the question wants to extend her 15 minutes by posting this on the web...on a separate note - I would request that Kips parents and friends help Kip to understand that his 15 minutes were a mistake. and The Tonight Show's site has a bit longer version - but gratefully not the entire bit that actually aired...

So what have we learned boys and girls?

1. Kip would rather screw the girl sitting next to him than Paris that may be a toss up for some but not for stance is the same as Jimmy Fallon's...

and to review...

Yeah...I'd give her the best 47 seconds she's had...

Hey, Paris may be strange and slapping her may be his best idea...

2. I think I may know his buddy who likes to screw fat chicks...

3. Kip would play with himself all day if he had female, not much different than the life he lives today really, so I don't get the point.

4. Osama (sic) won't win the Presidential election next year - Thank GOD! But Kip really shines when he reveals that Yao Ming plays basketball for the Rockets and isn't running China in the off-season.

5. His stunning knowledge of Chinese foreign investment strategy was really tops for me though, a real Ron Insana moment for him...

Someone in interweb land please tell me he really didn't graduate from our fine university - that he just likes to watch our football team go Air Raid crazy...

Sport / Not a Sport

In tribute to our buddy Sneader - I've decided to start a series of threads called...duh...Sport / Not A Sport...

Vote by throwing in a comment...

First edition:

Big 12 Athletic Facilities Arms Race

We just thought the Cold War ended in December 1989...the current arms race in Big 12 Athletic Programs puts anything that Reagan and Gorbachev did to shame.

We'll start with the primary participants...The University of Texas is America and OU is Russia. Not necessarily because OU has poor facilities, but because they seem to like to throw good money after bad instead of rebuilding some of their relics (Lloyd Noble Center is a DUMP so they prettied it up with practice gyms and new offices, L. Dale Mitchell Park is only slightly better than Dan Law Field, etc). Whereas UT seems to be doing things the right way (remodel of FEC, tear down and reconfigure at Joe Jamil Field at Darryl K. Royal Texas Memorial Stadium, Disch-Faulk remodel, etc.).

But in this arms race, there are more than 2 "combatants".

You've Okie State spending money like it's going out of style (where can we sign up for "Alum with obscene amounts of money and no way to spend it all"??). a&m finally figuring out that something needed to be done about their poor excuse for a basketball arena (HEY! NEW SCOREBOARDS!) and adding a "practice facility" for football that looks like a big tent.

What is Tech doing?

WELL...that's not an easy question to answer. We have GRAND plans for Jones SBC...err Jones AT&T Stadium. Tear down the ticket office building, horseshoe in the North End, build an East Side building to balance out the Mega-West Side. Add a new Jumbotron on the South side! It will look FANTASTIC!!! But will any of it ever get done??? The West Side building was completed in 2003. I'll let that soak in for a was COMPLETED in the year of our Lord, two thousand and three. And what has been done to the stadium since then? Nothing. The East Side still looks like a glorified High School stadium. Can we PLEASE get on the ball about this???

Then there's the United Spirit Arena. Yes, it's the newest of our facilities (well, the ones that count, softball doesn't count.) It's still in pretty good shape, but it's no longer the Crown Jewel of Big 12 Basketball that some like to think. It's almost 10 years old now and needs a few upgrades. A ribbon scoreboard around the upper deck facade for one. New, larger training facilities (this is being addressed, supposedly). Another practice court or two are DESPERATELY needed. Some how I bet this never happens.

Now on the baseball. We almost had this:

...but Jody Nelson likes to steal money, so it fell through. And it would've been in Wolfforth anyways.

Dan Law favorite place while in school. But after having been back in the Hub last week, I can admit it's time for this one to go. (And while I'm here, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY MORE TO GO TO A TECH BASEBALL GAME THAN FOR A MLB GAME??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??????) What I would love to see happen to DLF. Tear down the existing stands, rebuild on the same land (the street's too close is my favorite excuse why we can't do it...I DON'T CARE, FIGURE IT OUT) this way Tech didn't just piss away ~$1mil for the baseball lockerroom facility. And PLEASE replace the corny combo turf/grass field with field turf.

I'll admit that Tech has been building at a shocking rate for the past 8-10 years, but why does EVERY construction project have to go through Lee Lewis? Especially since it seems that every one of their projects is a year later than expected (prime example: United Spirit Arena...suppose to open for the 1998 basketball season, didn't open til 1999...and it was BARELY finished then...)

A few things that Tech could do to help generate the $$$ to make these things happen: First off, let's copy oSu for once! Their website for construction at Boone Pickens World is brilliant. It lets people know EXACTLY what's going on. What stage it's in. How much money is needed. No wonder Tech can't raise any money for a Jones AT&T expansion, no one knows what the hell is REALLY in the plans. Secondly, give us young alums a chance to donate without feeling like if we don't donate $100 we're being cheap. Something as easy as a asking for a $5/ticket/game donation when buying season tkts that will go STRAIGHT to the Jones AT&T renovations fund. I'd do that. 5 games, 2 tickets=$50. Get most of your season ticket holders to do that and there's a pretty decent chunk of change to get things rolling.

That's all I've got for now.

Speaking of the Bowl

Here is a gem I found on youtube

Big XII Football Coaches in the Hot Seat

disco tech! takes a look at which Coaches in the Big XII are in the hot seat.

1. Franchione - Losses against Miami, Tech, UT, and OU will spell doom. Throw in an early season loss against Fresno State (very much a possibility), and you might as well stick a fork in him.

2. GuyMo - Not necessarily his last chance, but they need to start showing some real improvement fast.

3. Mark Mangino - Kansas seems to find a way to lose the games they ought to be winning.

4. Gary Pinkel - Can't seem to make it over the hump even in a weak North Division.

5. Bill Callahan
- At Nebraska, if you're not competing for Big XII Championships (and thus, a BCS spot), you're a failure. 7 win seasons won't keep the Corn Farmers happy.

6. Ron Prince
- K-State fans have not warmed up to having him yet. Bill Snyder had to ask everyone to give him a chance last year. It's hard to follow a legend.

7. Mike Leach
- Stubborness can be a turn off for some (as well as flirting with the Miami job this offseason), but job is relatively secure.

8. Mike Gundy
- OSU's "Golden Boy" Head Coach, so he's not going anywhere soon.

9. Gene Chizik
- Combination of apathy by the fans and his "newness" gets him at least 5 years to show them what he's got.

10. Dan Hawkins
- Hard core fans still believe this could be their guy. They'll be a real threat in 2 or 3 more years once he starts bringing in his own athletes

11. Mack Brown
- He'll be fine as long as he beats OU, doesn't lose to A&M or Tech more than 2 years in a row, and as long as they compete for Big XII titles yearly.

12. Bob Stoops - Subject to change pending OU's punishment from the NCAA and findings from the investigation... but we're talking about a school that still idolizes Barry Switzer.

- Cabron

My suggestions to save Tech Baseball

No need to worry Texas Tech Baseball fans! Passive Aggressor is here to save the day. Here is my five step program to save the sport.

1) Fire Larry Hays- I am a Larry Hays fan, hell when I was at Tech our team was badass but lately Larry Hays has been like Don Nelson in his last season with the Mavs-Just showing up not really caring and the team just kinda coasting with no direction. Tech needs to find a coach like either a young unproven hungry genius or a veteran coach looking to prove something and not keep some guy who just wants to get to some milestone victory platform.

2) Improve Dan Law Field-

I love Dan Law Field but it to small and cramped where it’s at. TCU had the same problem a few years back, their solution was to build a brand new state of the art ballpark just a few blocks down the road. Tech has plenty of Land let’s build a badass ballpark.

3) Don’t Bring in Dumbasses - Seriously how the hell does a D1 athlete in one of the major sports not keep his/her grades up? Be a fucking dumbass that’s how. It’s hard to grow a program if you keep losing scholarships because you have stupid idiots not making their grades.

4) Have free admission for HOT Females wearing little to no clothing- Hot women at sporting events increases attendence for evdience please see this hot soccer fan.

I would attend anything if the stands were filled with these.

5) Serve Beer- This will ensure a good time no matter how well the team performs. Plus nothing beats beer, a dog, hot chicks and baseball.

TVTanLine Mans up

Your correction is duly noted in in the interwebs and is appreciated.

Now - lank johnson - can we get a cat picture here for Mr. TVTanLine since he's such a great guy? And Passive Aggressor - you can call off the kitty holocaust. I'm telling you for the last time, put down the kitty and walk away...

Thank you.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hey TV Tan Line - How about the Insight Bowl?

Where the Big 12 plays bowl games...

Seen @

These are ranked in order of importance as well.

Fiesta Bowl
Holiday Bowl
Cotton Bowl
Alamo Bowl
Sun Bowl
Independence Bowl
Texas Bowl

We will forgive you as you recall the greatest comback in NCAA Bowl History...

I don't have anything to say, so how about a contest?

Tell me just what in the hell this guy is saying.

Best answer gets a luscious wet undershirt worn by that pussy Boof Bonser while he shaved.

(Now our hits go through the roof)

Bond J Bond fixes your Tech Football jones

A couple of stats jumped out at me listening to the audio - Rodney Allison was 10/11 for 87 yards in this win...and the Tech offense racked up 358 yards TOTAL for the entire game...


Last year, Texas Tech's Graham Harrell threw for more than 358 yards in 6 of the 13 games in which he played (includes the Insight Bowl).

I'm sure there are many more stats that I am missing - but that was the best illustration in my mind of how incredibly wild Mike Leach must seem to the likes of the older generation of football coaches in America.

How about this Eric Dickerson vs. Gabe Rivera matchup - unfortunately this story ends badly for us...and turns into a tale our old pappy would share with you about being prepared, playing every down, the importance of special teams and all that hooey. Makes me so mad I could almost hire an SMU grad to clean my house...

the back of drew goodens head

in my best jerry seinfeld voice: 'what is the deal with that? (sadly I could not find an adequate picture of this through google search, its kind of like sasquatch)

I mean but seriously, wtf is with this? no attempt at all to cover it with the sweatband, its like his face is on backwards but they all forgot to tell his mustache. I am watching the cavs/pistons game and I thought there was something wrong with my television or that the ghosts from ghost were trying to come out of my tv.

can anyone shed any light on this? punishment from david stern? mixed lebrons whites and colors when he was doing his laundry? I refuse to rest until this perplexing mystery is solved.

Top 10 things that rule about Tech

In David Letterman fashion, and with respect to Passive Aggressor’s awesome blog, I’d like to present the top 10 things that make Texas Tech pretty much rule.

You may not agree with me on everything, and there might be a glowing omition, to which I tell you “piss off.” This is my fucking list.

10. KTXT Radio

Keep it locked to the left!

I’ve witnessed some pretty shitty college radio in my travels, and Tech’s student-ran station is amongst, if not the best, I’ve heard.

9. THE Ryan Hyatt

There’s not much that I enjoy more than listening to Hyatt call a Lady Raider game. I’m not even all that much of a women’s basketball fan – but I think Ryno is just about as good as it gets.

I think he’s smooth, topical and has a perfect flow to calling basketball. I like Jensen calling football, don’t get me wrong, but Steve Dale (and John Harris last year) make me wish for a worldwide kitten holocaust.

I almost wish we did like Texas A&M, and had Hyatt call every single sport from football to women's j.v. tennis like Dave South, except of course without the senility and general suckiness.

8. Our snazzy marching band

I’d put the Goin’ Band up against any other band in the country for quality of performance and flashiness. They make gay-looking gaucho hats and capes cool to me.

I still get chills when the drum majors high-step down the field and the band runs out during pregame. Our band kicks major ass.

7. Gameday at the Jones

From the drunken tailgating, to the pregame festivites, to throwing the ball all over the field 60 times a game with reckless abandon, I love it.

6. Wes Welker

My favorite Red Raider evar. A little short, stout, relitavely slow dude from Oklahoma who wasn’t highly recruited, but has BALLS. I loves me some Wes.

5. Not going to class

I went to three institutions of higher ed in my college career, and one of the coolest things about Tech was the fact that with roughly half of my classes, I only went for tests.

Playing Playstation until 4 in the afternoon and being drunk by 2 pm on a Wednesday = pretty much the most awesome life ever.

I’d like to personally thank all of those professors who had no attendence policy and put their lecture notes online. Having to go to class is lame.

4. The campus is purty.

Let’s face it: Lubbock’s scenery leaves a lot to be desired. If our campus didn’t have the beautiful architecture it does have, it would pretty much be as ugly as A&M, but flat with few trees..

"Welcome to beautiful Aggieland! Our girls are almost as unattractive as our campus!"

3. Girls

Good gosh, I’m a dumbass for having a steady girlfriend for the vast majority of the two years I was at TTU.

Take a walk on campus. So many beautiful co-eds everywhere you look.

Instead of being mired in a relationship that ultimately didn't last, I could have been out getting herpes from a hawt Theta or some shit. And it would have been worth it.

"Wait! I thought it was fuck a Beta, marry a Theta?!"

2. Pwning Aggy

From this..

"Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!"

To this...


So beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye.

It wouldn’t be so great if we didn’t know it bothered them so much.

1. The Odd Couple

"I wonder what kind of fertilizer they use on this grass?"

It’s kind of crazy if you think about it. There is probably not a more quotable combination of a head football and basketball coach in the country.

You’ve got RMK, and his reputation preceeds himself. We all know the things he has said.

Then you’ve got Batshit crazy Mike Leach, who says things like this:

"If you get into a fight, don't take your helmet off. We're looking for smart
football players, not dumb ones. In the interest of time, don't get into any
more fights today."

"Well, Wes had the Huge Punt Return and I thought that once we got him
off we're going to have everyone hug him"

"Well, uh, I don't know. They told me the game was at 9:00 pm so I showed
up at 9:00 pm. It was over at 1:00 am, so I left."

"I don't even
remember what I said. I hope whatever I said was cute and clever, and maybe even
a tiny bit humorous. I hope it wasn't mindless babble, and if it was, hopefully
everyone will forget about it pretty quick."

"I told him to fix his
helmet, which I thought was a pretty good coaching point at the time."

And that’s just a few of his great ones. There are fewer moments in my life that I get more gratification then when I read or hear another zinger quote from either Knight or Leach. No other fans of any school are privy to more constant entertainment by the two figureheads of their athletic department.

And the really funny thing is they are in such stark contrast to each other; Knight – cantankerous and belligerent, Leach – random and eccentric. Both incredibly sarcastic and hilarious in their own way.

We are truly blessed as far as those classic media moments are concerned.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Floyd, why hast thou forsaken me?

Or, Floyd Landis is the biggest douche in the history of ever.

Alright, I’m gonna out my self now. I’m a cycling fan. A HUGE cycling fan.
Go ahead, tell me how boring it is to watch skinny guys with shaved legs pedal bicycles for hours on end. Tell me how the only thing gheyer than a lycra bodysuit is tying your Wham! tour shirt into a knot, and trolling up and down Cedar Springs with cutoffs that show your ass cheeks holding a sign that reads Free Rectal Exams. I don’t care. To me, nothing’s cooler than watching 100+ cyclists flying down the road at 45mph like a well orchestrated symphony of muscle and titanium. Nothing can make my sports pants go crazier than watching Lance drop the hammer on Alpe d’Huez and giving Jan a little look to say, “You coming, or what?” Or watching a long, drawn out flat stage for an hour to see Stewie O’Grady and Thor Hushovd dig deeper than should be humanly possible, and sprint it out to the finish line. Many a summer day, you’ll find me waking early to tune in to early broadcast of that day’s Tour stage, sitting on the edge of my bed, waiting for the attack.

That being said, cycling is, by far, the dirtiest sport in the world. Has been for years. The worst offender being our own Floyd Landis. Okay, maybe not the worst, but definitely the most visible. I mean, this guy is responsible for one of the greatest rides in the long history of the Tour. What he did on stage 17 of last year’s tour, trumps anything Lance ever did. He was buried. Done. And he dropped the entire field. Not on the summit of the last climb, but damn near ¾ of the stage. After I heard the news that he’d failed the test, I couldn’t believe it. How would testosterone help someone do what he did, that day? I was floored. This was obviously the work of the jealous French, right? They couldn’t stand seeing a filthy American win their precious race for an eighth straight year.

Well, not so fast my friends. Looks like our favorite mennonite might be guilty after all. And who is responsible for this 180 on my part? Greg freaking Lemond. Now, don’t get me wrong, Greg’s the guy who got me into the Tour way back when. I would always look forward to the Sunday Tour telecast so I could see what 7-11 or Motorola were up to. But he’s really been getting under everyone’s skin accusing Lance of doping, and it’s really getting old. It’s almost like he’s been jealous of Lance stealing his thunder or something and is just trying to tarnish his victories.

Back on topic, though. Turns out Greg called Floyd when all this came down, telling him to admit he doped, and all would be well. He’d get a two year suspension, but the sport would be better for it. But Floyd wouldn’t do that. Not because he was adamantly denying anything, but because he didn’t want to hurt his reputation, and those of the people around him. So Greg confided in Floyd something he hadn’t told more than five people his entire life. He told him he had been sexually abused by an uncle as a child. This should have compelled Floyd to tell the truth, right? Or at least appreciate that one of his peers poured his heart out, and realize he should treat that person with respect. Not Floyd, though. The night before Greg is to testify in Floyd’s hearing, he gets a call from an unknown number. The caller on the other end says, “Greg, it’s your uncle. Don’t testify tomorrow, or I’ll tell people how we used to ‘hide the weiner’.” Turns out this was Floyd’s business manager!

Now, I doubt Floyd told this guy to call Lemond and say this, but he at least betrayed Greg’s trust by sharing this information, and he didn’t make much of an effort to stop the guy. So Greg, in a hella ballsy move, got on stand the next day and told exactly what had happened! Floyd’s big defense had been his character thus far. Now? Not so much. This is probably one of the most despicable, soap opera-ish moves in the history of sport. Clearly the act of a desperate man. I don’t care if it turns out the French lab DID screw the samples up, he’s guilty in my mind. Really sickening.

So now, we’re not only stuck not knowing if last year’s Tour winner was legit, we now know that one of our heroes is the biggest douche in the history of sport. Thanks for that, Floyd!

My Favorite Aggy joke.

Why are they the butt of all jokes?
Because it is tradition.

That wasn't my favorite joke, but I thought I would throw a little jab in there off the cuff. For those of you that don't know, Texas A&M is a sad little group of mechanized robots that used to have personalities. They congregate in College Station and think that they are better than you regardless of where you go to school, but especially if you are a Red Raider. Everything is also a tradition down there, even testicle grabbing. I do believe that taking a crap is a tradition that they only do at A&M and not anywhere else. I know that throwing crap is one of their newest traditions.

Now my favorite aggy joke that will make my beloved Red Raiders of Texas Tech feel good. It is a classic, but if you haven't heard it I think that you will really appreciate this joke.

How do you keep an aggy from masturbating?
Paint his cawk red and black and he will hardly ever beat it.

Okay, I am sure that many of you have already heard that joke and I am sure that some "smarter than me aggy" will take it upon himself to point out the correct time frame to use that joke. It would be when the Red Raiders beat them in football for a consecutive number of years. So the real answer to that joke is:

Paint his cawk red and black and he won't beat it for "X" number of years.

Right now it would be two years and I am sure that we Red Raiders will be using that joke for the rest of time. If you are from a different school you can insert your own colors and your own rival and you have an instant classic, but only if you own your rival in sports like the Red Raiders own the aggies.

Tech Tennis On the Verge of First All-American

The latest news from the Lubbock Avalanche Journal. Link to Story

Bojan Szumanski accomplished one goal on Wednesday, but the junior men’s tennis player still has one more he’d like to attain.

Szumanski became the first Texas Tech men’s tennis player to win a match at the NCAA Individual Championships in Athens, Ga. After losing the first set to Pennsylvania’s Jason Pinsky, Szumanski rallied to win the next two, claiming a 4-6, 6-3, 6-2 victory.

“He is now in the final 32 and that is a great accomplishment,” Tech head coach Tim Siegel said. “He wants to be the first All-American at Texas Tech and to do that, he’s got to win one more.”

This is the 4th straight year for Tech to send a player to the NCAA Individual Championships, but Bojan is the first to make it past the first round.

Aggies get Powned - Again...

Because The Wizard of Odds doesn't ignore the greatness that is Big 12 football...he posts all-time great material like this...

Note...the Aggies caught in mid scrotum-squeeze (bottom-right of the billboard) were caught on TV (ESPN) during the Texas Tech @ A&M game @ Collie Station in 2006...we will remember it alway...

Because Ted Turner gave us the Jane Fonda treatment

Big 12 football on ESPN

Staff writer Barry Horn reports that ESPN will take over the Big 12 football games that have been broadcast on TBS for the last five years.

Posted by Barry Vigoda

If they were gonna get drafted they would be staying...

AUSTIN -- Two Texas freshmen offensive tackles, J'Marcus Webb and Roy Watts, are transferring, coach Mack Brown announced Wednesday.

Webb played in 12 games on the line and on special teams last season. Watts redshirted and did not play. In statements released by the team, both players said they wanted to find more playing time with another school.

"If I want to have an opportunity to play more my best chance is to transfer. Everyone has been very supportive at Texas and I'll always be pulling for them," Webb said.

Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press

I'll post later about UT's senior class deferred comp program that keeps the likes of Roy Williams, Ricky Williams, Frank Okam, et al in school for their senior year...

Now that I think about it...

When my high school was voting for their Senior Class "Favorites"...

i.e., Most Likely to Succeed, Most Likely to be cast as Ralph the Mouth in "Happy Days: The Next Generation" (Yes, yours truly won this illustrious award).

Now that I think about it - why didn't my right hand and I win "Best Couple"???

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Obama’s new marketing campaign

"I *heart* BO."

You can get a cap.
Even a shirt.

And if you’re feeling really frisky..

A good ol’ I *heart* BO thong.

Brilliant. You take a girl home from the bar.. her little white thong had been peeking out of the back of her ho-pants all night.. you get her out of them, and what do you see?

Eat your *ahem* heart out, “I Like Ike.”

If only LBJ had went by his middle name.

Top 5/Bottom 5 of God's Greatest Inventions


1)The Internets- Seriously can there be a better thing known to man- Instant updates on World Events, PRON, endless pages devoted to SPORTS, naked pictures of chicks you wana bang or did bang in High School/College/at your Job, Funny Cat Pictures and did I mention PRON? The Internet also enabled all the 110 lb or 350 lb nerds/dorks/dweebs to finally become the e-tough guy that the real world wouldn’t allow them to do.

2)Beer- Beer is what made life before the Internets livable. I mean beer has given millions of people liquid courage to perform the greatest of feats- Allowing White Men to dance, Ugly people to get laid, Marriages to be Tolerable and Creepy Old Men the courage to hit on the hottest women in the bar.

3) College Football- Seriously is there a greater sport? College Football allows Tailgating and drinking beer for 12 hours as you watch young men play the great game of football. It also allows you to talk smack to the annoying coworker/boss after your team destroys their Alma Mater for the 8th time in 10 years.

4) Bewbies- The image to the left says it all.

5) HDTV- This invention is the greatest thing since the invention of the INTERNETS. Seriously watching Golf and Nature Shows has never been as entertaining. It’s caused many of my nights to be ruined because I become so fascinated by what is on the TV.


5) Rotten Milk- Seriously the thought of the smell makes me want to puke right now. Why did God ever want something so that is so tasty go bad? And Nothing is worse then waking up one morning and going to drink milk and its all spoiled- it just ruins your day.

4) Possums- Besides messing things up in sheds and garages, digging in my trash and having the neighbor's dog bark all night at them what do these over grown giant rats do? Give Me F**king Nightmares that’s what. Seriously I don’t think I will be able to sleep to night after seeing this possum picture.

3) Crazy Ex's - The Crazy Ex is one of those horrible surprises you get at the end of failed relationship. I have had all kinds of them- the one that stalks you until you have to call the cops; the one who calls you and then hangs up at all times of the day; The one who still acts like you are a couple years after you have broken up; and the one who for some reason looks like they are pissed off every time they see you. I would rather have hundreds of possums running through my house then to have to deal with another one of these.

2) Rush Hour Traffic- First of for some reason god makes me work for the man for a living then he puts me into this box which I am trapped in for hours either going to or from that hell they call my job. It would be so bad if there wasn’t commercial filled radio, asshats driving in a lane that’s been announced it was ending for 3 miles that cut you off with their asshat mega expensive car, and 90 grandmas driving in the left lane 20 miles under the speed limit.

1) Dancing with the Stars- Okay if I wanted to see a bunch of no talented want-to-be stars dance around like idiots I would get my friends drunk and take them the local country western bar. At least that would have some comical entertainment value.