BREAKING NEWS OUT OF LUBBOCK!

(Lubbock, TX) Sources close to the Texas Tech Athletic Department said Wednesday that Mike Leach has been named as the replacement for Mike Leach when he inevitably leaves the program.

This news comes before the biggest game in the history of this year as the 10-0 Red Raiders get ready for a showdown with 9-1 Oklahoma in Norman Saturday.

"Well, we just want to make sure no stone is left unturned," Gerald Myers, Texas Tech Athletic Director said. "We all know Mike, and Mike is going to do what Mike is going to do. So we thought it best that he replaces himself at some point."

Speculation across the nation is that some top programs like Tennesssee, Washington, and Syracuse are all interested in the Texas Tech coach to come lead their program and not be too weird, an unnamed source said.

"Well, I'm just focused on us getting better each week and getting ready for OU," Leach said. "It's an honor to be named the head coach designate here, and I just saw in the news that a baby hippopotamus was born at a zoo in Switzerland. I was at a zoo in Switzerland this summer. You know the interesting deal about hippopotami and whales evolved from the same prehistoric animal. It's, uh, kind of a neat deal though that they just like to spend their days wallowing around in the mud, which doesn't make them much different than some other animal characters you'll find. Like a pig."